"Heaven is a place with an American house, Chinese food, British police, a German car, and French art. Hell is a place with a Japanese house, Chinese police, British food, German art, and a French car."

- Anonymous



The scene: walking from Union Station to The Docks w/Janice and Jon. After an hour of walking...
Janice: "My hip hurts..."
Mike: "What?"
Janice:"My hip hurts!"
Mike:"What?"
Janice:"I said my hip hurts!"
Mike (to Jon): "What did she say?"
Jon: "I think she said her pimp hurts."
Mike: "No, that can't be right. I don't feel a thing."
Janice tries to beat Mike to death with her jacket.



When Tim Chin calls Tim Wang...
Phone rings...
T.Wang: Hello?
T.Chin: Hey, Tim.
T.Wang: Um...yes?
T.Chin: Tim, it's me, Tim.
T.Wang: ..................Hello?
T.Chin: Yeah, Tim, it's me. It's Tim.
T.Wang: ...........................................Hello?



When Tim Chin calls Tim Wang, Part II...
Phone rings...
T.Wang: Hello?
T.Chin: Hello...Tim?
T.Wang: Hello...?
T.Chin: Tim...it's Tim Chin.
T.Wang: Oh, Tim Chin's not here right now. Can I take a message?
T.Chin: Yeah, I know. Tim, it's me, Tim.
T.Wang: .....................Hello?



Names have been altered to protect innocent parties involved. Non-innocent parties involved are: Jonathan Sy.
Jon: Did you know that Michelle Ossant (someone in our high school class) has a phD in chem now?
M: No way, get out.
Jon: Yeah man, for real....man, she was hot.
G: What was she?
Jon: Hot.
G: No, I mean was she white or asian or what?
Jon: White.
G: What kind of white?
Jon: The hot kind.
M: I think he means nationality is she. What kind of name is "Ossant"? What nation is that from?
Jon: I don't know. Hotlandia.

"I think that everybody...sleeping...together...is kinda cool."

- Yu-Ling Lee, at CCF committee meeting discussing possible Fall retreat.



On the UWCCF committee retreat, during a night hike...
Mike: "It's suddenly gotten a lot warmer once we got into the canopy."
Alexis: "Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have worn this jacket. It's designed to trap heat..."
Josiah: "Really? I thought jackets were designed to suck heat out."
Mike:"Yeah. Hey, did you know my car was designed to drive?"
Alexis: "Alright guys, shut up."



Dinner at King Tin...
Nathan: "So seriously guys, how do you know when you've found like, THE ONE? I mean, it's so hard to know."

Gerrome: "No man, when you find her you'll know. Trust me, you'll know. You'll know it in here (points to head), you'll know it in here (points to chest), and you'll know it in...other places too." Pauses for a second, then happens to look down.

Everyone stops eating, looks at Gerrome in surprise, then bursts out laughing. After a second, it clicks to G what he'd just said.

Gerrome: "Oh man, you guys are sick!! SICK!!! I was talking about your soul!! Your soul!!!! Man...you guys are sick..."




"Daddy, can I have your pants?"
- Alex Wang, to Nathan Tsui



During a CCF bible study prep session, Brian asks an excessive number of questions, not giving Alexis a chance to speak. After Brian asks a few too many questions...
Alexis: Brian, calm down. If you just wait, I'll answer all your questions, just keep your pants on.
Gerrome: He can't. Carolyn's always wearing them.

"Oh God, please give us women."

- Yu-Ling Lee



Watching "Ronin" at ajma's going away party:
Andrew: "Who is this guy?"
Kevin: "He's the guy with the briefcase."
Andrew: "You mean the guy who threw up after the gun exchange?"
Mike: "No, that guy got kicked out already."
Andrew: "Was it the ex-KGB guy?"
Alexis: "No, it was the guy who caught the cup when Robert DeNiro knocked it off the table."
Andrew: "Man, how am I suppose to know all this? No wonder they all have different accents. These white people...they all look the same."



Mike: "Hey Jensen, check this out."
Jensen: "What's this?"
Mike: "It's the 2003 Fender catalogue."
Jensen: "Oh, wicked, that's like porn for guitars!"
Mike (laughing): "Hey, Jon, you hear that?"
Jon: "Oh yeah. I was in your room and I was like, 'Ho damn, Mike's got guitar porn!"




"What 'ass meat'?"
- Tim Wang



"Don't you feel it's your duty to dirtify innocent girls?"
- Nathan Tsui



During a basketball game...
Josiah: "Who's yo daddy?!?!"
John Hui: "Mike."
'nuff said.



At lunch, Nevin and I were talking about getting the XBox from Albert's and bringing it to my place...

M: Actually, the XBox is Elmo's.
G: Really?
A: Yeah, he's letting me borrow it for the time being. You know, one of those things to try to win me over for going out with my sister.
M: Man, he's going out with your sister and all you get is to borrow his XBox? That's pretty weak.
A: Well, I get shoes later on too when they get married.
G: Still, that's pretty cheap. You're an easy sell Albert. You should have milked him for more!
M: Yeah man. The guy's kissing and touching your sister, and all you get is to borrow his XBox? And a pair of shoes?
A: Well, he's an okay guy. I actually like him, so kinda I'm okay with this.
M: Really? Are you really Albert? You're okay with him KISSING AND TOUCHING your SISTER?
A: Well...he's a nice guy...
M: Kissing AND touching your SISTER, Albert.
A: Well, she's not going to be a nun, you know. Somebody's gotta do it!